i have to thank my tutor , angela to be here today
to lend me your ears and time to crap my stuff.
i really think that i'm not that kind of girl that parents don't want.
but i just chose to be myself.
though i know the right answer , it doesn't seems to be approved.
does that means that i'm in the fault now?
not sure. i just know that you are a great friend to me.
and actually letting myself to know that i knew all these things all along.
but i chose to keep it aside.
not letting anyone to dig it out.
actually , i've never wanted you to give me advice.
as i know it's difficult for you.
but why the person who always ask you to find them.
when you are in trouble.
and they don't give you advice?
i don't know which path should i go.
follow my feelings and heart or parent's wishes?
not sure.
i don't want my family to seperate from me.
neither do i want my friends and interest to slowly.
leave me.
i hate this kind of feeling.
doesn't give me secure at all.
though i want to study , it doesn't seems to let me.
as my mind will run wild.
and it's really damn wild.
until.. i cant see the shadow of it.
being yourself and standing at people's shoe is so difficult!
i don't understand why would people force themself.
last time i'm like that.
in the end i'm hurt badly!
i don't want this to repeat.
i hate being hurt.
neither do i want my friends to be hurt.
and i just realised.
being too good , people will take advantage.
what will they do?
climb over your head. that's obvious.
lying through their teeth?
acting like they know everything?
sometimes you think you know a lot of things , actually you don't know.
don't try to be as godly as you want.
i don't know what i can do.
to knock people's sense out.
or i shouldn't.
let something to happpen on them?
maybe?
not sure.
forget it!
shouldn't think of other people's stuff when i cant even solve my problem.
this worsen everything and people will say that you are being busybody.
so actually being a human being it's so tough!
omgosh! i don't even know why am i one of them?
